The first year of grieving

The first year of grieving

The first year of grieving was tough! I felt like it took almost a year to get through the intense sadness. I know a year sounds like a long time but it’s quite short when you look at how fast time goes by. Reaching a year after our loss was emotionally hard but I also felt like I made a huge leap in healing from the day of the diagnosis until the day of our angel anniversary.

I kept my schedule light and focused on healing for some time. I gave myself a lot grace knowing that there would be hard days and I wouldn’t always be in the mood to do the things I once enjoyed. It was important to me that I continued to work on healing my heart and that I didn’t hold on to all the pain I was feeling.

Eventually I started to feel like my joyful self again. I found a new normal in my life, relationships and daily routine. Things started to feel lighter and my schedule started returning to normal.

“When I was ready to return to my routine and start spending time with people as I had done previous to the loss, I felt like I was living on another planet. It was weird to feel sad while watching everyone around me be joyful. Even though it was hard being in a different place emotionally, I know that being surrounded by happy people lifted my heart. I also noticed that I was more sensitive while I was grieving. I knew spending time with others meant there was a chance of something triggering memories or feelings about my loss. Anything could bring a burst of emotions for me—a beautiful song, a part of a movie, or even a thought that someone shared. I told myself it was OK if I needed to cry in front of others or take a break to spend a few quiet minutes alone while everyone was together.”

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